Let me share some insight that may help some of you…
If a person is given a choice between eating nourishing food
from a clean table or eating from a garbage can, they will choose to eat from
the table. If a person is given the choice
between eating from the garbage or eating nothing at all, guess what? The innate desire for nutrition and survival
will force even the pickiest eater to dig through the garbage for food.
Companionship is no different. We require companionship. It provides emotional and spiritual nutrition
to our body and soul. And if the only
choice we give ourselves is a bad relationship or no relationship at all, we’ll
almost always take the relationship over loneliness in an attempt to satisfy
the hunger for love and acceptance.
While in
counseling, I observed that the two reasons most people stayed in abusive
relationships with themselves and others were:
1) They didn’t believe they deserved better.
2) The abusive relationship at least filled a need that the
loneliness didn’t. (Companionship and/or
escape)
Don't get me wrong. There is nutrition to be found in the garbage can just as there is companionship to be found in abusive
relationships. But don’t turn these places of last resort into your only option
for emotional, spiritual, and physical nourishment.
So why do people get into bad relationships?
What happens if only time you go to the supermarket to
shop is when you’re extremely hungry? The
answer? You don’t make smart
decisions.
What happens if the only time you search for companionship
is when you’re extremely lonely?
The answer? You don’t
make smart decisions.
What are a few things you can do while searching for Mr. or Mrs.
Right?
·
Get socially involved. I’ve met a lot of people just
from participating in local 5k races. I
would not have met those people if I only ran on my treadmill in my home.
·
Volunteer.
There are people who need your compassion and time.
·
Take care of your physical health. This is vital in regards to improving
self-worth.
·
Have a lunch date with a friend at least 2 times
a month. It gives you something to look
forward to and an outlet from your daily routine.
·
Get involved in community projects.
·
Meet with a trusted counselor or life
coach. Asking for help is not admitting weakness.
·
Read, read, and read some more! Reading changes how your mind works and how
you solve problems. The next book you
read may contain the key that unlocks the answers you’re looking for.
·
Trust your instinct. It will notice things you don’t. For example, if your instinct is warning you that
going on date #2 with someone may not be the best thing for you, don’t go on
date #2 simply because you have nothing else to do!
·
Love yourself.
Even in today’s world, the age old statement of “Until you love yourself,
you can’t love anyone else” is as true as ever.
I believe our social
relationships are a good indicator of the value we place on ourselves. And this value is what determines if we
choose to sit at the table to fulfill our emotional and spiritual needs or if we dig through the garbage for it...
